The Undying Mecha Emperor -
Chapter 308 One Just Like This
And to make things worse, the five golden mechas were already in position and opening fire.
"Time to bail!" I thought.
Whatever happened, I had collected more than enough goodwill from Prince Wilford to last me for a couple big favors, and I was more than happy to leave it at that.
So without further ado, I discharged my lightning energy out from my feet and shot all the way upwards into the sky at high speed.
Truth be told, I was fully expecting the mechas and the mothership to resume their attacks on the Wilford Estate and continue to press home the attack.
Afterall, their mission had not accomplished a single thing apart from wrecking the beautiful Wilford Estate and pissing off Prince Wilford in an insanely spectacular manner.
Never in a million years did I expect that instead of doing that like any sane treasonous traitor would do, they actually turned their focus on me!
The five golden mechas immediately turned to chase after me.
Well, I'll give them that.
They had more golden mechas in the mothership, and dedicating five of them to chase and destroy a pesky fly like me, though exaggerated, was still a pretty understandable decision to make.
But getting the entire mothership and unleashing every single mecha to chase after me in what seemed like a psychotic revenge reaction was not understandable at all.
Very, very not understandable.
"What the hell? Why are you throwing everything at me?? Relax a little bit won't you? Eat a chill pill! You fugly fake ass Black Dragon!!" I yelled loudly as I tried to escape from them as quickly as I could.
But it was no use.
My lightning energy based flying technique was a new technique for me and was still highly energy inefficient.
There was no way I could outfly golden mechas.
"Capture this punk alive. The Black Dragon wants to torture him." The lead golden mecha said aloud.
Immediately a wave of paralyzing attacks were unleashed by the five golden dragons towards me.
"You dare attack a member of the Royal Family? You fake ass black dragon mongrels are getting out of control!" I shouted as I dodged this way and that way, hoping that I could lie my way out of the situation.
But they weren't dumb.
There had been no Royal family of the European Empire that controlled lightning energy.
"Royal family? More like Royal family wanabe! Royal tramp!" Came the loud condescending reply from the lead golden dragon.
I immediately brightened up slightly when I realized that I was facing with a verbally argumentative enemy.
"Hohoho. I may be young and not very good at fighting. But I am sure I can piss your pants off with my mommy based insults, and my all new daddy based insults." I thought eagerly.
For some reason, I was strangely unafraid of dying that day, and not a single thought about that fight being my last moments on earth crossed my mind even though the odds were completely stacked against me.
Maybe I was young. Or maybe I simply had confidence in my aces in the holes.
Whatever it was, I started insulting the golden mecha leader and his family and extended family with great relish.
And his fugly boss, of course.
"Royal family wanabe? HAHAHAHA! LOOK AT THE MIRROR YOU DUMBASS! That sounds exactly like the fake ass black dragon retard who is so FUGLY that he has tits growing out of his cheeks! HAIRY tits!" I began.
"WHA-WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?? WHAT TITS? WHAT HAIRY TITS?? HE DOESN'T HAVE HAIRY TITS ON HIS FACE!!" The golden mecha leader roared as the five of them fired off highly coordinated rifle beams at me.
"His cheeks are very chubby are they not? Both his cheeks have a round, black thing protruding out from right smack in the middle haven't they?" I hooted with pleasure.
"THEY ARE NOT CHUBBY! THEY ARE… THEY ARE BLESSED CHEEKS!" The lead golden mecha declared loudly for one and all to hear.
"Let me ask you a question! What do you call a mound of flesh with a hairy black nipple on top? TITTIES! Fugly, hairy titties!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" I roared with all of my heart and soul.
My voice resounded all over the SCD as I somehow stumbled upon the technique of infusing my energy into my vocal chords and causing it to act like a supercharged megaphone.
"IN-INSOLENCE! THE BLACK DRAGON DOES NOT HAVE TITTIES FOR CHEEKS! TITTIES ARE NOT AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE BLACK DRAGON'S CHEEKS!!" The lead golden mecha was truly in rage and he began to scream back at me at the top of his golden mecha's powerful speakers.
Pew! Pew! Pew!
His attacks started to become slightly erratic as he allowed his argumentative side to influence his battle coolness.
"WHAT? TITTIES ARE NOT AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE BLACK DRAGON'S CHEEKS?" I shouted in pleasant surprise as I found yet another juicy topic to insult him.
"YES! THE BLACK DRAGON'S CHEEKS ARE PERFECT! NO MERE TITTY CAN COMPARE TO IT!" He declared loudly once more.
"WHAT THE F***!!! YOU DISGUSTING BASTARD! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FIND THE BLACK DRAGON'S HAIRY CHEEKTITS SEXIER THAN YOUR WIVE'S TITTIES! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!
YOU ACTUALLY GET TURNED ON BY LOOKING AT THE BLACK DRAGON'S HAIRY CHEEKTIT! THE ENTIRE BLACK DRAGON ARMY ARE ALL PERVERTS! PERVERTS!
THEY GET SEXUALLY TURNED ON BY THE BLACK DRAGON'S CHEEKTITS! BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS!" I roared out once more gleefully and allowed my voice to spread far and wide with thunderous clarity.
"Enough!" Came a loud, raspy, squeaky voice from the mothership. "Stand down."
"YES YOUR MAJESTY THE BLACK DRAGON!" The lead golden mecha shouted.
Instantly, all five golden mechas stopped attacking me and merely hovered midair at the ready around me.
"What the hell? That squeaky, mousy voice is the fake ass fugly Black Dragon's voice? You are no Black Dragon! You are a chubby titted black mouse! No! You're probably pink in colour! You're a pink mouse with extra hairy extra chubby titties growing out of his face!" I shouted at the mothership.
I was eager to keep up the torrent of very publicly delivered insults on the Black Dragon so as to hopefully cause him enough angst and make him engage in a verbal fight with me.
And if he did so, I would be achieving a variety of things.
I would not be getting attacked. Well I might, but if my insults were creative and vulgar enough, he would probably want to settle in and fight me verbally fair and square so that his ego and public image was defended.
Just straight up beating me to pulp without addressing those issues could be considered a form of silent agreement to my words.
It would buy us time. Time for the Royal Legions to arrive with their thousands, time for the two Royal siblings to pull their strings and send in the National Guard or even the main army, and hopefully time for Prince Wilford to do whatever he needed to do to prepare for the upcoming fight.
My entire plan rested upon two very hairy cheektits, and the sensitivity of the fugly dude who owned those cheektits.
And to my very pleasant surprise, the fake ass fugly Black Dragon bit my bait hook line and sinker.
"You must be someone's secret experimental project." He squeaked through the mothership's speakers.
"HOKEY POKEY!" I shouted immediately. "The more I listen to you speak, the more nauseus I get! How the hell did you manage to turn on your followers with that squeaky mousy voice of yours? Did someone cut off your balls or something? I am not detecting any manliness from you at all! OH CRAP! Are you… a transgender?? Have I been using the wrong pronoun??"
I did not give him any chance to lay down his case and flip the table on my insults! But at the same time, I was also holding back my most vicious insults.
It would be bad if I went too strongly and caused him to explode in anger.
"Look here." The fugly fake Black Dragon squeaked with irritation in his voice.
"Look where? I can't see you?" I taunted him. "How the hell am I supposed to "look there" if you're hiding in your ship like a damned pink mouse scared shitless?"
His response was instantaneous. I guess he was quite excited to show off his new golden mecha as well.
A massive hatch opened in the middle of the mothership and the monstrously ugly golden mecha began to appear in all of inglorius blinding… fugliness.
After a couple of painful seconds, it was out.
Just like the brown stuff that comes out of your body when you go to the toilet.
"Hahahahaha! Behold my brand new Black Dragon Devourer!" Roared the fake ass Black Dragon in a surprisingly deep voice. "How about it? You've never seen anything like in from your bosses right? Why don't you serve me instead and I will make you one just like this!"
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