Harem God: Leveling Up Yanderes in the Apocalypse
Chapter 22 Using Barriers As Condoms 101

"Heh… hehe… hahahaha!" Anya burst into laughter, "Your big plan was to charm me? W-Who the fuck… are you stupid!? I'm a Level 120 seductress!"

She closed her eyes and slapped the shoulder of her 100-foot titan. Immediately after, it started laughing as well.

"Your charm's useless! Obviously!" She cried, "How the fuck are you still alive when you're so stupid!? And what was that dramatic flair!?"

'Success.' Leon grinned inwardly, 'Odds defiance. What a useful power. Now please keep those low expectations for ten more seconds.'

He successfully managed to dramatically lower her respect for him and triggered Odds Defiance. Now he had to act quickly before Caitlyn's buffs ran out.

"Caitlyn, I guess my trump card didn't work. Just kill this bitch. Punch her in the face, and don't hold back." Leon said in the most unceremonious fashion possible.

Ding!

[Sick Em' Has activated! 20% increase in power!]

Ding!

[Blessed Flight: Suicidal Charge! has activated! 50% increase in speed and strength!]

Caitlyn flew at the woman with speed far surpassing initial expectations.

How much faster? A [obviously cheating because the gods love me] level of faster.

There was a 300% increase in her stats from Reward~, followed by a 50% increase in the new stats from Suicidal Charge.

Anya opened her eyes to find Caitlyn next to her face.

High speeds slowed to a crawl for the super grand elder granny trap.

However, Caitlyn was moving faster than she normally did with 120 levels worth of balanced free stats!

Therefore, there was no slow-down effect, nor that it would matter.

Anya wasn't paying attention, so Caitlyn's fist was in a range where dodging had a 33% chance of success at a maximum.

At that closeness, she could feel the raw power emanating from Caitlyn Mira.

How much stronger was Caitlyn Mira? A [war casualty statistic] level higher.

She had a 300% gain in her base stats from Reward~, a 50% increase from Suicidal Charge, a 50% surge from Stalker Instincts: Primal Protection, and a *paltry* 20% from Sick Em'.

Most of these skills were only active temporarily during completely hopeless situations for a few minutes or seconds.

Moreover, they required that the user attack in those suicidal situations instead of fleeing.

However, Leon had used his level 89 giga-Chad skill he developed in college to demonstrate how [charming] he was, leading to Anya and her giant losing focus. It distracted her and triggered Odds Defiance, making her question why he was still alive, thus magnifying her loss of situational awareness.

Then he stacked up everything into one massive strike.

He even took advantage of Reward~ to unnaturally hide Caitlyn's killing intent and make her attack instantaneous, thus preventing the bonuses from not running out.

So Anya didn't see [it] coming.

It.

The extinction-grade, system loophole intergalactic stock portfolio static strength cunt punch seeking to wipe the pompous smirk off her face and replace it with a hoe load of death.

Anya knew one thing for certain: she couldn't sleep her way out of this one.

Summoning over a century's worth of experience, she moved her head at a ghostly speed.

A wicked smile began developing on her face when she saw the fist moving at a trajectory that may miss her face. It was a chance!

However, a split second later—

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

To everyone's horrified disappointment, the titan, who [was] paying attention, reached its right palm up just in time to block it.

As a result, it actively blocked—their field of vision when its hand exploded like the ghost of Jackson Pollock showed up holding a bottle of Everclear and swung a mop soaked with red oil paint. (1)

Leon panicked, thinking that the titan's ultra-thick hand prevented her from hitting Anya.

BOOOOOOOM!

The previously thought-to-be-young woman flew into a skyscraper before exploding out the other side.

BOOOOM!

Then another building.

BOOM!

And another.

Boom!

And another.

If anyone has had the satisfying experience of skipping a perfectly flat stone on a calm lake, they'd be able to visualize the woman skipping through 12 buildings.

Her body helped her gain entry into 13 buildings before reality sunk in and told her to slow down.

Ding! ...

"Wheeeeeeeew!" Lindy whistled with an impressed face, "Did ya'll see that!?"

Leon turned to her with a beating heart.

"No. Did you?" He asked hurriedly.

She was at a different angle, and he wanted to know what level of damage Anya had received.

"Did I? How couldn't you!" Lindy cried, "You saw the results, yeah?"

Leon's eyes glided the area where Anya smashed through.

"Well, yeah. But that doesn't talk about the damage."

"Damage!?"

Lindy didn't know whether to laugh or cry, knowing he didn't have confidence in the results.

"Bro… BRO! Mecha-simp's hand violently exploded, and Anya crashed into a building immediately after, and you're questioning its power!?" She cried.

Leon gave her a wry smile. He knew that, but—

"Yeah, yeah. Level 120 mega-cunt is strong." Lindy said sarcastically while rolling her eyes, "But come on! Break down those facts!"

She pointed to the titan, looking at its arm in disbelief.

The force had ripped through its forearms, unraveling its muscle fibers like a third-evolution phantom cat hopped up on catnip bitch-slapping a yarn ball.

"It's not like a hand explodes in place!" Lindy cried, "It sent that force backward with a guaranteed chance of hitting her."

Leon's eyes lit up by the revelation.

At the last moment, he saw a slight smile on Anya's face, which worried him.

"Chances of the impact went to 100% when mecha-simp tried to say bitch please, be grateful and kiss your woman or something!"

Leon looked up and found Caitlyn with a face filled with sheer exhaustion.

She was panting, her skin was flushed bright red, and she was overheating.

"Caitlyn!" He yelled.

To everyone's horror, the confused titan noticed Caitlyn's horror movie appearance for the first time and decided to act. Yet she didn't notice.

"Body Swap!" Leon thought to himself.

He blinked to find himself in the middle of the air, soaked with blood and completely exhausted.

A massive hand descended upon him like the humanoid planned to swat down a fly.

Unfortunately—for the giant—it didn't anticipate something when it calculated its hand's trajectory.

Leon didn't know how to fly.

"Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Lindy and Sarah were nonplussed by the scene they watched.

They had never seen Caitlyn scream like a little bitch before.

Nor could they figure out why her wings were doggie paddling 80 feet in the air.

"Leon, what's happening to her!?" Lindy cried.

"Leon?" The body of Leon asked in confusion.

[He] looked around from left to right in a panic.

"Leon? Leon? LEON!? WHERE ARE YOU!?"

Lindy stared at Caitlyn in shock. She was officially 893 shades of lost at the moment and didn't know how to respond.

"Where the fuck is he, bitch!?" Caitlyn roared while grabbing Lindy by the collar.

However, all Lindy saw was Leon lifting her by the collar with a crazed expression asking for himself.

"CcCaCaiIiIiaAaAaAaTtTtTtLlLlLlNnNnNnnnnnnnnnn!"

A strange voice filled Caitlyn's ears. Who is that?

She turned around to see her own body barreling toward her at high speed.

"H-HOW DO YOU LAND THIS THINNNNNNNG!?"

"Leon? Body swap? Did… he just call my body a thing?" Caitlyn asked in perplexion.

"He did! I didn't know he saw my body as an object to use!" She cried with a torrent of ecstasy.

Lindy watched in horror as [Leon] developed a raging boner at sound-barrier-breaking speeds.

The body of Leon had turned her around while holding her collar, so his flag was still pointing at her lady bits three inches away.

When Lindy saw the generous size and their position, she turned bright red and trembled in embarrassment.

"Wait? Leon needs my help!" Caitlyn cried.

She unceremoniously dropped Lindy, as she had become accustomed to, on her butt.

"Don't jump!" Leon cried in sheer horror.

When she did, Leon saw his raging boner in horror and tried his hardest to doggy paddle upward for a crash landing that avoided his crotch.

Caitlyn saw his fear and doubled her resolve to save his life. She enthusiastically jumped into the air.

In that split second, moving at a low estimate of 45 miles an hour, Leon Traxler's life as a man flashed before his eyes.

Time slowed to a crawl, and he immediately thought of two things.

The first was the Sex Recovery Ambrosia and its miraculous effects in healing wounds from sexual experiences.

The second was the note from the Harem God telling him to Body Swap out during sex.

At that moment, he imagined the maniacal looks on their faces as he swallowed the contents of one of those vials to recover from his first Body Swap experience.

That vision helped motivate him to scrap for another solution in the 1.37:25 seconds he was still a man.

If it were any other woman in his body, he'd insult the boner right off him. However, it was a 50/50 gamble that insulting her would send Caitlyn squealing into raging super-boner land.

The other option was to use Heavenly Barrier to protect his body, thus letting Caitlyn smash into it defenselessly.

However, for some inexplicable reason, his mind rejected that.

He could. Nothing was barring him. Yet he rejected it. How strange. FOCUS!

'Wait! Barrier!' Leon exclaimed inwardly.

"Visualize! HEAVENLY BARRIER!" Leon yelled while putting out his hand blindly and praying.

Caitlyn saw a golden, glimmering light at her waist.

A cute yet not tiny barrier was covering the pointy tent on her waist.

Caitlyn turned bright red in embarrassment.

"Do you need a barrier condom to accept my bod—"

BOOM!

The two crashed into one another, equally distracted by the sexual complication, which acted as a barrier, preventing them from getting too close.

Boooooom!

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